Has your family got a secret? If your child’s bedwetting has got him too embarrassed to sleep over at a friend’s house and you’re stripping soiled sheets at three in the morning, you’re not alone. Here’s what you need to know about the causes of this common condition, tips for talking to your child about bedwetting and expert advice for helping him stay dry at night.

What is bedwetting? Enuresis is the medical name for bedwetting, which is a fairly common problem among children. Approximately 5 to 7 million kids (more often boys) in the United States are wet at night, says Washington, D.C. pediatrician Howard Bennett, author of Waking Up Dry (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2005). “It’s a hidden problem of childhood because people tend not to talk about it outside of the home, so most kids think they’re the only ones with the problem.

In most cases, there is no medical cause for bedwetting. “It’s just a delay in maturation in the way the brain and bladder communicate with each other at night,” says Dr. Bennett. Most children achieve bladder control by age 6 and outgrow bedwetting without treatment: twenty percent of kids wet the bed at age five and that number drops to 12 percent by age six. Pediatricians don’t define bedwetting as a problem until children are six years old.