When you ask your kids to wash up, you don’t know if your request is going to be met with squeals of glee, or if they’re going to scream bloody murder. Their reaction can be as unpredictable as the weather. But whether they like to clean up or not, the point is that they need to learn personal hygiene. Otherwise, years may pass, and you’re going to find that not only is it hard to get your 11-year-old to get out of bed, but it’s going to be a struggle to get him to shower, comb his hair, or brush his teeth. Save yourself the grief, and start teaching your kids good hygiene as early as possible. Here’s your essential guide on where to start.

Oral Basics When you start to teach your young child how to brush her teeth, don’t assume one lesson is all it will take. You have to supervise what they’re doing until you know they can do it correctly on their own. And you may still be checking up on them for years—parenting never ends! Start here: “Let them brush your teeth and you brush their teeth. Then have them check your mouth, and you check their mouth,” says Michael J. Hanna, DMD, a pediatric dentist in Pittsburgh and a spokesman for the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry. “You’ll see that they’re building the skill.”

Teeth Tactics Ideally, teeth should be brushed three times a day, after every meal, and for three minutes with each brushing. Reality check: Most parents feel relieved if they can get their kids to brush before they head to school and before they go to bed. What to do: To maximize the benefits of getting in at least two brushings daily, your child should brush—or you should brush their teeth for them—after breakfast, not before, says Dr. Hanna. This way, food isn’t sitting all day on your kid’s teeth, he says.

Lunchtime Lesson Try to send your child to school with a toothbrush to clean his teeth after lunch, but don’t be shocked if he doesn’t do it. Some preschools and day-care centers let kids brush at lunchtime as part of their daily cleanup, says Dr. Hanna. If yours doesn’t, parents should stress the importance of this with administrators. After all, if they get used to brushing at lunchtime when they’re young, they’ll be more likely to do it when they’re older—not to mention that this will help fight cavities.

Toothbrush Timesaver Try using—or have your kids use—motorized toothbrushes. Not only can they find them fun to use, but they clean teeth more efficiently and in a shorter amount of time, says Dr. Hanna. You want to aim to spend at least a minute on each row of teeth. “But with a rotary brush, you can get it all done in a minute, if you’re good at it,” he says. (And no matter what type of toothbrush you prefer, remember to toss it when the bristles start to fray or the colored indicator fades.)

Got Toothpaste Trouble? When a young kid gags at the sight of toothpaste, try brushing their teeth with a flavored, kid-friendly toothpaste. But if they still don’t like it, don’t go out and buy 20 kinds of toothpaste, suggests Dr. Hanna. Instead, stresses Dr. Hanna, cut down on the amount of toothpaste you’re using (a pea-sized amount is fine) or just resort to the plain, wet toothbrush. “When you brush without toothpaste, you’re still getting that cleansing action,” he says. “Then if you start to see a buildup of stain or plague, and you can’t get the teeth clean enough, you need to think about using toothpaste,” he adds.

Floss Daily “When children’s teeth start to touch, and that can be as young as 1 year, parents have to floss them,” says Dr. Hanna. “Most kids don’t have the dexterity or the desire to floss themselves until they’re about age 10 or 11,” he adds. So parents should continue to supervise how well their kids are flossing even after they begin doing it themselves when they’re in grade school, he explains. “Children and parents should work together,” says Dr. Hanna. “Tell them that you’re going to do the front teeth, and Mom and Dad are going to do the back teeth.” Then eventually, they can floss their molars on their own. Another fuss-free flossing tip: “Sometimes it’s good to use floss holders, because you can pop it in and out and never put your hands in their mouth,” he says. And don’t forget: Always floss before you brush.

Tongue Talk “Your mouth isn’t completely clean until you’ve brushed the tongue,” says Dr. Hanna. “It grows bacteria and traps debris.” You can use a tongue scraper if you’d like, but a toothbrush works just as well. (If using a rotary brush, turn it off first.) “With younger kids, just wipe the front two-thirds of the tongue,” says Dr. Hanna. “You don’t have to scrub the back of the tongue until they’re older, and even then, you don’t want to gag them.”

Bathing Basics If your child’s been playing kickball in the yard and ends up covered it dirt, clearly she needs a soak in the tub. But other than filth signaling when your kid needs to shower, how often should kids bathe? Once every day or two, unless your child is particularly active or messy is enough, says Christopher Tolcher, MD, clinical assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine. “Bathing daily becomes more important for tweens and teens,” he adds, “because issues with changes in the skin and body odor become more evident.”

Hand-Washing Help So is there a happy medium between being a hand-disinfectant–toting parent and one who’s given up on getting her kids to stop eating dirt? Don’t despair. You don’t need to go to extremes when it comes to cleanliness, nor should you give up altogether. The rule of thumb is simple: “Encourage children to wash their hands after using the restroom, before they eat and snack, after they handle animals, and whenever they seem dirty,” explains Dr. Tolcher. “You don’t want to over-cleanse the skin,” he says, “or it’ll lead to drying and cracking that raises the risk of skin infection and other problems.”

Toilet Time Once you potty train your child, then comes the fun task of teaching your child how to wipe themselves properly, and earlier on, you’ll probably be wiping your child more than he’ll be wiping himself. “There isn’t a magic age when everybody should stop wiping their children,” says Dr. Tolcher. “Some children may show independence as early as age 2 or 3, and then there are those children who need help wiping up until age 4 or 5.”

Wiping Up To help children develop that sense of independence, though, don’t just assume your child is too young to master how to wipe. While you may still need to do some quality control, you shouldn’t always take control. For example, uncircumcised boys should be taught to retract the foreskin as far as they can when they urinate, advises Dr. Tolcher. And girls should be shown how to wipe from front to back after they urinate, to reduce the risk of coming down with a urinary tract infection. It also helps to teach them to do this more than once with clean tissue for each wiping and to separate their legs when they do it, says Dr. Tolcher. In addition, demonstrate to kids how they should clean their tushies by reaching around their backside and not between their legs—a technique that’s especially important for girls to do, Dr. Tolcher points out.

Wet or Dry? Here’s a new adage: “Don’t throw the baby wipes out with the bath water.” While your child may have outgrown diapers, you don’t have to stop using wipes as well. While they’re certainly not essential, they certainly can be handy to have on hand for a child—or even an adult—to clean up after doing number 2. Not only will they make that bathroom trip shorter, but using a wipe could be easier on a child’s bottom. Using too much tissue could get abrasive, adds Dr. Tolcher.

All Ears Wax may seem unsightly, but Dr. Tolcher reminds parents that earwax actually plays an important role—it’s a protective coating in the ear canal. “If your child makes too much of it, your doctor can remove it for you, or give you special techniques to do it yourself at home,” he says. Otherwise, stick to cleaning the outside of ears only. Why? “Swabbing inside ears raises the risk of complications like infection, irritation, or hitting the eardrum,” says Dr. Tolcher. He adds: “The most common thing is packing a wall of wax against your eardrum, which then is more difficult for the doctor to clean out.”

Hints for Hair Like bathing, parents don’t need to worry about washing their child’s hair daily. Every other day is fine, says Dr. Tolcher. And when it comes to shampoos, experiment with works best for you kid. Besides buying what you prefer, the only time you’ll be concerned with purchasing a specific product is if your doctor recommends one because your child has a scalp problem, he adds.

Towel Change You do enough laundry during the week, so here’s one way to minimize your load. You don’t need to wash towels after every use. “Change them once weekly or after every four to five showers,” says Dr. Tolcher. However, there are some exceptions: “If your child has open wounds, sores, or skin infections, it’s best to use a clean towel,” he says. “And family members should avoid sharing towels—this is a common way to spread skin bacteria that might lead to an infection.” Last, the sniff test is always a good way to determine if that towel is ready for the hamper!